http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
While remembering aspects of my childhood, I cannot overlook a period of eleven years that dominated my time away from school. I took classical piano lessons. Since my first two years of lessons were with a teacher that allowed me to run all over the keyboard without the least care about counting, at the recommendation of my mother’s co-worker, my mother enrolled me in lessons with a STRICT teacher for the next nine years.
May L. Etts was the President of the National Piano Teachers Guild. She had a studio in the old Carnegie Recital Hall for her very accomplished adult students and she provided lessons for children out of her home in Queens, New York.
One of the things I remember about her is that during her annual spring student concerts at Carnegie Recital Hall and Carl Fisher Hall in New York City she would go ballistic when a child (who did not know yet) said, “I am nervous”, backstage.
Up to that point we had put in at least four months of specialized practice to memorize our ensemble numbers, with the last four weeks consisting of three or more weekday afternoon and weekend rehearsals. Many of these rehearsals found us in terror or near tears as we fumbled the keys. Things intensified the week before the concert with her slamming her hand on the piano while yelling and making us play over and over again.
The night of the concert, the seasoned students knew that she would be another person from the drill master to whom we had become accustomed. As I look back, the time had come; we were prepared well; we were at the point that our best met the best that she could impart; and “the show must go on”. She was calm, quiet, and even reassuring, but the one thing she ABSOLUTELY would not tolerate was the use of the word "nervous". She taught us to honor our feelings by describing verbally how we felt inside without giving it a label. For the young children backstage, she would help them to describe it as little butterflies flying in their stomachs.
Words matter. Some are infectious and pejorative in nature. They will tear at our self-confidence and destroy our abilities when under pressure, like a contagion of “nervousness” in young children backstage before a performance. Even if only one student was affected, it would destroy the result of the ensemble’s endeavor during the performance. Miss Etts could not afford that.
Today I give you an opportunity to be mindful of your words and how they affect you.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, February 1, 2010
Monday, January 25, 2010
EMPTY OUT
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
When we empty out that which is taking up space in our lives (internally and in our environment) we remove the block to having that which is new.
It is in clearing, that we take stock of that which no longer becomes us and no longer serves us. Clearing can take on the form of physically throwing something away, and it can be mental housekeeping in which old thoughts and beliefs are discarded.
That which is new may enter like a quiet visitor or a beautifully wrapped package with layers to unpack before the gift is seen. It can also come in like a quiet storm or explosion turning one’s world upside-down. Therefore, I would suggest that you pray before you begin to clean and clear things out. Pray as a step of preparation. Pray for the readiness to handle what comes in, and for protection. Be mindful: as you put things out, bless them, and be grateful that you had them. As you make room, bless the space in your home and being – Maybe that will ease the touch.
To empty out can be worth every minute of it. New, what is next? Is it mastery? Let Go and Empty Out.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
When we empty out that which is taking up space in our lives (internally and in our environment) we remove the block to having that which is new.
It is in clearing, that we take stock of that which no longer becomes us and no longer serves us. Clearing can take on the form of physically throwing something away, and it can be mental housekeeping in which old thoughts and beliefs are discarded.
That which is new may enter like a quiet visitor or a beautifully wrapped package with layers to unpack before the gift is seen. It can also come in like a quiet storm or explosion turning one’s world upside-down. Therefore, I would suggest that you pray before you begin to clean and clear things out. Pray as a step of preparation. Pray for the readiness to handle what comes in, and for protection. Be mindful: as you put things out, bless them, and be grateful that you had them. As you make room, bless the space in your home and being – Maybe that will ease the touch.
To empty out can be worth every minute of it. New, what is next? Is it mastery? Let Go and Empty Out.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 18, 2010
MINDFULNESS
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/
I ponder my Life and compare my blessings to the urgent needs of others who are suffering. I, no doubt, am among the blessed and wealthy by virtue of the quality of Life I enjoy daily – even when I think things aren’t so hot. All pale in comparison when I see the face of abject poverty. This past week I noticed that I did not rush to the grocery store. I was not eager to order any merchandise from catalogs already sporting what is new for spring. I looked upon my simple grapefruit and bowl of oatmeal as a virtual feast. My nutritional supplements became a luxury. The things around the house that I thought needed to be repaired, replaced, or updated seemed to be just fine.
I kept my numerous appointments and I noticed how many meetings were lunches in restaurants or catered. What did not get consumed may have been left for staff – but at the end of the day it would have been discarded.
Yet, how can I ease someone else’s pain? How can I end someone else’s suffering in the world beyond sending contributions in a time of crisis? I am here. Time will go on. Will I forget until the next world crisis how blessed I am in every minute of my Life? What is my lesson?
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
I ponder my Life and compare my blessings to the urgent needs of others who are suffering. I, no doubt, am among the blessed and wealthy by virtue of the quality of Life I enjoy daily – even when I think things aren’t so hot. All pale in comparison when I see the face of abject poverty. This past week I noticed that I did not rush to the grocery store. I was not eager to order any merchandise from catalogs already sporting what is new for spring. I looked upon my simple grapefruit and bowl of oatmeal as a virtual feast. My nutritional supplements became a luxury. The things around the house that I thought needed to be repaired, replaced, or updated seemed to be just fine.
I kept my numerous appointments and I noticed how many meetings were lunches in restaurants or catered. What did not get consumed may have been left for staff – but at the end of the day it would have been discarded.
Yet, how can I ease someone else’s pain? How can I end someone else’s suffering in the world beyond sending contributions in a time of crisis? I am here. Time will go on. Will I forget until the next world crisis how blessed I am in every minute of my Life? What is my lesson?
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 11, 2010
NO ENCORE
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
I conducted a workshop for the sales staff of an insurance company on their personal relationship to money. One of the interactive group exercises was designed to provide a personal snapshot of how the individual behaves with money and other people.
There was a post-exercise debriefing in which participants described their reactions to the instructions, the exercise, and their interaction to fellow human beings. They were able to see how they related to people when money was involved.
Then an interesting thing happened. One person dismissed the previous 20 minutes of the exercise as not counting because it really wasn’t his Life. Even though he participated, he did not see that twenty minutes as part of his Life. While others could understand that the way they engaged others during the exercise was how they engage others in their daily lives, this gentleman dismissed the exercise and said it did not count. When queried about whose Life he was living during those 20 minutes, if not his own, he still dismissed it.
That is where he stopped in his relationships. He made some count and others did not count. Some were worth his whole self and those that did not count were dismissed in his mind as not part of his Life – even if he was the one interacting with the person. He dismissed 20 minutes of his Life as well as his interaction with another human being: So much for compartmentalized thinking.
Here is a lesson from Life 101: The final curtain will fall. When it does, even if everyone is standing in applause for how you lived your Life, there is no encore!
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
I conducted a workshop for the sales staff of an insurance company on their personal relationship to money. One of the interactive group exercises was designed to provide a personal snapshot of how the individual behaves with money and other people.
There was a post-exercise debriefing in which participants described their reactions to the instructions, the exercise, and their interaction to fellow human beings. They were able to see how they related to people when money was involved.
Then an interesting thing happened. One person dismissed the previous 20 minutes of the exercise as not counting because it really wasn’t his Life. Even though he participated, he did not see that twenty minutes as part of his Life. While others could understand that the way they engaged others during the exercise was how they engage others in their daily lives, this gentleman dismissed the exercise and said it did not count. When queried about whose Life he was living during those 20 minutes, if not his own, he still dismissed it.
That is where he stopped in his relationships. He made some count and others did not count. Some were worth his whole self and those that did not count were dismissed in his mind as not part of his Life – even if he was the one interacting with the person. He dismissed 20 minutes of his Life as well as his interaction with another human being: So much for compartmentalized thinking.
Here is a lesson from Life 101: The final curtain will fall. When it does, even if everyone is standing in applause for how you lived your Life, there is no encore!
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 4, 2010
ARE YOU SEEKING SOMETHING NEW, BUT HOLDING BACK?
Website: http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
I had a recent conversation with someone about what that person might like to do over the next ten years of working before retirement. In this case, the children were grown and had completed their education. The individual wanted to do something else, yet, some of the usual considerations were keeping this person from seriously contemplating what would bring personal fulfillment and be meaningful in the way work.
This is where soul searching and prayerful contemplation can help one to discover what to do to fulfill one’s purpose. Unlike goals, your purpose is a constant and keeps going. Goals, on the other hand, get completed and new goals are created. Being on purpose is the compass for your Life. You can do many things over the years and still be on track with your purpose for being.
Fear is the biggest thing that holds people back from venturing forth in their lives. We often settle for so little in fulfillment because we fear the unknown and we fear making a mistake.
One of the things I mention about Goal Setting – Action Plan and Due Dates, on my website (http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/goals2.html) is that before you venture forth you want to align your goals with your principles so that you can experience inner and outer harmony when you achieve them. Choosing goals that are dissonant to your core values will more than likely bring unhappiness if they manifest at all. I suggest that the first place to start is to ask God to guide you to know what you should seek in your Life.
When I have done this and know what it is that I am to do, my trust that God will provide allows me to venture forth and begin the process of getting past the fears that keep me stuck. Might you desire to do something with your Life and are you holding back? What are your thoughts?
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, December 28, 2009
TRANSITION IN THE NEW YEAR?
Some of us will take up resolutions for the New Year because we want to start anew. We sense there are aspects of ourselves we would like to improve, so we start with a clean slate on January 1st.
Others of us will find that 2010 will be a year of transition: A period of renewal that may or may not be planned. Perhaps it will be brought about by unemployment, a change of location, health, or within the family. The period of transition can be exciting as well as terrifying. Nothing stays the same forever – we know that. However, the journey one goes through while discovering the space between here and there can be challenging and scary.
One anonymous author described the experience as swinging on a trapeze bar where s/he sees another trapeze bar swing toward her/him. The author states, “In my heart-of hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on this present, well-known bar to move to the new one. Each time it happens to me, I hope (no, I pray) that I won’t have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar and for some moment in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar. Each time I am filled with terror. . . . Each time I am afraid that I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between the bars. But I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging on to that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives.”
I find that it is helpful to have something on which to anchor my faith in such an uncertain period. It is God. When you have been between trapeze bars, how was your experience and how did you get through the suspended time?
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/
Others of us will find that 2010 will be a year of transition: A period of renewal that may or may not be planned. Perhaps it will be brought about by unemployment, a change of location, health, or within the family. The period of transition can be exciting as well as terrifying. Nothing stays the same forever – we know that. However, the journey one goes through while discovering the space between here and there can be challenging and scary.
One anonymous author described the experience as swinging on a trapeze bar where s/he sees another trapeze bar swing toward her/him. The author states, “In my heart-of hearts I know that for me to grow, I must release my grip on this present, well-known bar to move to the new one. Each time it happens to me, I hope (no, I pray) that I won’t have to grab the new one. But in my knowing place I know that I must totally release my grasp on my old bar and for some moment in time I must hurtle across space before I can grab onto the new bar. Each time I am filled with terror. . . . Each time I am afraid that I will miss, that I will be crushed on unseen rocks in the bottomless chasm between the bars. But I do it anyway. Perhaps this is the essence of what the mystics call the faith experience. No guarantees, no net, no insurance policy, but you do it anyway because somehow, to keep hanging on to that old bar is no longer on the list of alternatives.”
I find that it is helpful to have something on which to anchor my faith in such an uncertain period. It is God. When you have been between trapeze bars, how was your experience and how did you get through the suspended time?
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
IT'S CHRISTMAS - CELEBRATE THE JOY!!
As we find ourselves in the last minutes of holiday preparation, it is easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the details that you want to get accomplished. When the traffic is not moving fast enough; the cashier line is at a standstill; or you feel jittery because you have so much to do - take a deep slow breath. Take another one, and tell yourself, “I have all the time I need to accomplish what I need to do.” Slow down, and proceed at a calmer, slower pace. If the jitters return, repeat the slow deep breaths and reaffirm that you have all of the time you need to accomplish all of your tasks. Then take a moment to look around you and enjoy the beauty of this time of year; the cheerful decorations, the laughter of the children, the ringing bells from the Salvation Army people. Or just listen to the Christmas music that is apt to be playing. Hum or sing along while you’re standing on line or you’re stuck in traffic, or wherever you may be. Just remember, this only happens once a year, so surrender and enjoy the spirit of the season, because it will all be over before you know it, and you'll be back to business as usual. When you stop and think about it, isn't it wonderful that we can get off the treadmill for a couple of days and be whimsical and child-like?
Wishing you joy at this time of year!
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
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