http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
Everything was in place: the wires, the hardware, and the juice. My TV would not come on because there was no signal. Unable to hear the latest of what was happening with the snow storm, I resorted to continuing my evening, like my day: in quiet. The next day there still was no signal until the afternoon.
Something so critical – a signal
I think of the times when I have pushed and pulled to make something happen that I wanted. There is something to be said about surmounting odds and sticking to something until it comes to fruition. Much of the time that is where we fall short. Yet, something that can be so easily overlooked is whether the project I planned was right for me to take on in the first place. Maybe the timing or the way I planned to go about it was not quite the way it should have been for an optimal outcome.
The process of beating the odds can feel like Sisyphus rolling a boulder uphill, in literally, an uphill battle. I am reminded when I enter a struggle pattern to stop and be still. When I encounter struggle in trying to make something happen, or to get my own way, I need to stop and be still. In that stillness, quiet reflection, contemplation and prayer, I may come to realize that nothing needs tweaking. I do not need to try harder. I do not need to make more connections with people in order to get my way, nor do I need to be more forceful.
The simple answer may appear: There is no signal. It is not the right time. I have learned to honor that and wait for God’s signal about how and when to proceed. WITHOUT A SIGNAL – ALL ATTEMPTS ARE FOR NAUGHT.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Friday, February 12, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
The Junk Heap
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
Have you ever gone past a junkyard and wondered about the things contained within? I have heard a television preacher say that when she and her husband drove past a junkyard, her husband remarked, “Those things are somebody’s dreams.” That statement struck me because I never looked at it that way before.
I contemplate that statement because one can acquire much over a lifetime. Surely, there are things that we feel we must have and do. There are things that we save months – even years to acquire, and then one day they are old, tarnished, broken, and outdated. Oftentimes, we admit to ourselves that we are amazed that we ever wanted the item in the first place. We can certainly say that about the clothing we find in our closets and drawers that have survived a decade or more.
Was there a particular profession that you entered because it was your dream? What work did you do day and night in order to secure a particular job title or income level? What work was more valuable to you than your family and friends who accepted your apologies for missing an event? What activities and habits are so important to you that you neglect your physical well-being? What invitation is so important that you are hurt when you do not receive one? In what neighborhood do you dream to own a home? Why? (to all of your answers).
We pay for everything in physical, and/or mental, and/or emotional, and/or spiritual coin. When you assess where you are, what you are seeking, what you have acquired, and why, in view of the cost in relationship to the value, might you want to reprioritize your goals and aspirations? When the fruits of your focus and labor end up on the junk heap, will it have been worth it? I hope so.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Have you ever gone past a junkyard and wondered about the things contained within? I have heard a television preacher say that when she and her husband drove past a junkyard, her husband remarked, “Those things are somebody’s dreams.” That statement struck me because I never looked at it that way before.
I contemplate that statement because one can acquire much over a lifetime. Surely, there are things that we feel we must have and do. There are things that we save months – even years to acquire, and then one day they are old, tarnished, broken, and outdated. Oftentimes, we admit to ourselves that we are amazed that we ever wanted the item in the first place. We can certainly say that about the clothing we find in our closets and drawers that have survived a decade or more.
Was there a particular profession that you entered because it was your dream? What work did you do day and night in order to secure a particular job title or income level? What work was more valuable to you than your family and friends who accepted your apologies for missing an event? What activities and habits are so important to you that you neglect your physical well-being? What invitation is so important that you are hurt when you do not receive one? In what neighborhood do you dream to own a home? Why? (to all of your answers).
We pay for everything in physical, and/or mental, and/or emotional, and/or spiritual coin. When you assess where you are, what you are seeking, what you have acquired, and why, in view of the cost in relationship to the value, might you want to reprioritize your goals and aspirations? When the fruits of your focus and labor end up on the junk heap, will it have been worth it? I hope so.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, February 1, 2010
THE POWER OF OUR WORDS
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
While remembering aspects of my childhood, I cannot overlook a period of eleven years that dominated my time away from school. I took classical piano lessons. Since my first two years of lessons were with a teacher that allowed me to run all over the keyboard without the least care about counting, at the recommendation of my mother’s co-worker, my mother enrolled me in lessons with a STRICT teacher for the next nine years.
May L. Etts was the President of the National Piano Teachers Guild. She had a studio in the old Carnegie Recital Hall for her very accomplished adult students and she provided lessons for children out of her home in Queens, New York.
One of the things I remember about her is that during her annual spring student concerts at Carnegie Recital Hall and Carl Fisher Hall in New York City she would go ballistic when a child (who did not know yet) said, “I am nervous”, backstage.
Up to that point we had put in at least four months of specialized practice to memorize our ensemble numbers, with the last four weeks consisting of three or more weekday afternoon and weekend rehearsals. Many of these rehearsals found us in terror or near tears as we fumbled the keys. Things intensified the week before the concert with her slamming her hand on the piano while yelling and making us play over and over again.
The night of the concert, the seasoned students knew that she would be another person from the drill master to whom we had become accustomed. As I look back, the time had come; we were prepared well; we were at the point that our best met the best that she could impart; and “the show must go on”. She was calm, quiet, and even reassuring, but the one thing she ABSOLUTELY would not tolerate was the use of the word "nervous". She taught us to honor our feelings by describing verbally how we felt inside without giving it a label. For the young children backstage, she would help them to describe it as little butterflies flying in their stomachs.
Words matter. Some are infectious and pejorative in nature. They will tear at our self-confidence and destroy our abilities when under pressure, like a contagion of “nervousness” in young children backstage before a performance. Even if only one student was affected, it would destroy the result of the ensemble’s endeavor during the performance. Miss Etts could not afford that.
Today I give you an opportunity to be mindful of your words and how they affect you.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
While remembering aspects of my childhood, I cannot overlook a period of eleven years that dominated my time away from school. I took classical piano lessons. Since my first two years of lessons were with a teacher that allowed me to run all over the keyboard without the least care about counting, at the recommendation of my mother’s co-worker, my mother enrolled me in lessons with a STRICT teacher for the next nine years.
May L. Etts was the President of the National Piano Teachers Guild. She had a studio in the old Carnegie Recital Hall for her very accomplished adult students and she provided lessons for children out of her home in Queens, New York.
One of the things I remember about her is that during her annual spring student concerts at Carnegie Recital Hall and Carl Fisher Hall in New York City she would go ballistic when a child (who did not know yet) said, “I am nervous”, backstage.
Up to that point we had put in at least four months of specialized practice to memorize our ensemble numbers, with the last four weeks consisting of three or more weekday afternoon and weekend rehearsals. Many of these rehearsals found us in terror or near tears as we fumbled the keys. Things intensified the week before the concert with her slamming her hand on the piano while yelling and making us play over and over again.
The night of the concert, the seasoned students knew that she would be another person from the drill master to whom we had become accustomed. As I look back, the time had come; we were prepared well; we were at the point that our best met the best that she could impart; and “the show must go on”. She was calm, quiet, and even reassuring, but the one thing she ABSOLUTELY would not tolerate was the use of the word "nervous". She taught us to honor our feelings by describing verbally how we felt inside without giving it a label. For the young children backstage, she would help them to describe it as little butterflies flying in their stomachs.
Words matter. Some are infectious and pejorative in nature. They will tear at our self-confidence and destroy our abilities when under pressure, like a contagion of “nervousness” in young children backstage before a performance. Even if only one student was affected, it would destroy the result of the ensemble’s endeavor during the performance. Miss Etts could not afford that.
Today I give you an opportunity to be mindful of your words and how they affect you.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 25, 2010
EMPTY OUT
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
When we empty out that which is taking up space in our lives (internally and in our environment) we remove the block to having that which is new.
It is in clearing, that we take stock of that which no longer becomes us and no longer serves us. Clearing can take on the form of physically throwing something away, and it can be mental housekeeping in which old thoughts and beliefs are discarded.
That which is new may enter like a quiet visitor or a beautifully wrapped package with layers to unpack before the gift is seen. It can also come in like a quiet storm or explosion turning one’s world upside-down. Therefore, I would suggest that you pray before you begin to clean and clear things out. Pray as a step of preparation. Pray for the readiness to handle what comes in, and for protection. Be mindful: as you put things out, bless them, and be grateful that you had them. As you make room, bless the space in your home and being – Maybe that will ease the touch.
To empty out can be worth every minute of it. New, what is next? Is it mastery? Let Go and Empty Out.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
When we empty out that which is taking up space in our lives (internally and in our environment) we remove the block to having that which is new.
It is in clearing, that we take stock of that which no longer becomes us and no longer serves us. Clearing can take on the form of physically throwing something away, and it can be mental housekeeping in which old thoughts and beliefs are discarded.
That which is new may enter like a quiet visitor or a beautifully wrapped package with layers to unpack before the gift is seen. It can also come in like a quiet storm or explosion turning one’s world upside-down. Therefore, I would suggest that you pray before you begin to clean and clear things out. Pray as a step of preparation. Pray for the readiness to handle what comes in, and for protection. Be mindful: as you put things out, bless them, and be grateful that you had them. As you make room, bless the space in your home and being – Maybe that will ease the touch.
To empty out can be worth every minute of it. New, what is next? Is it mastery? Let Go and Empty Out.
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 18, 2010
MINDFULNESS
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/
I ponder my Life and compare my blessings to the urgent needs of others who are suffering. I, no doubt, am among the blessed and wealthy by virtue of the quality of Life I enjoy daily – even when I think things aren’t so hot. All pale in comparison when I see the face of abject poverty. This past week I noticed that I did not rush to the grocery store. I was not eager to order any merchandise from catalogs already sporting what is new for spring. I looked upon my simple grapefruit and bowl of oatmeal as a virtual feast. My nutritional supplements became a luxury. The things around the house that I thought needed to be repaired, replaced, or updated seemed to be just fine.
I kept my numerous appointments and I noticed how many meetings were lunches in restaurants or catered. What did not get consumed may have been left for staff – but at the end of the day it would have been discarded.
Yet, how can I ease someone else’s pain? How can I end someone else’s suffering in the world beyond sending contributions in a time of crisis? I am here. Time will go on. Will I forget until the next world crisis how blessed I am in every minute of my Life? What is my lesson?
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
I ponder my Life and compare my blessings to the urgent needs of others who are suffering. I, no doubt, am among the blessed and wealthy by virtue of the quality of Life I enjoy daily – even when I think things aren’t so hot. All pale in comparison when I see the face of abject poverty. This past week I noticed that I did not rush to the grocery store. I was not eager to order any merchandise from catalogs already sporting what is new for spring. I looked upon my simple grapefruit and bowl of oatmeal as a virtual feast. My nutritional supplements became a luxury. The things around the house that I thought needed to be repaired, replaced, or updated seemed to be just fine.
I kept my numerous appointments and I noticed how many meetings were lunches in restaurants or catered. What did not get consumed may have been left for staff – but at the end of the day it would have been discarded.
Yet, how can I ease someone else’s pain? How can I end someone else’s suffering in the world beyond sending contributions in a time of crisis? I am here. Time will go on. Will I forget until the next world crisis how blessed I am in every minute of my Life? What is my lesson?
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 11, 2010
NO ENCORE
http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
I conducted a workshop for the sales staff of an insurance company on their personal relationship to money. One of the interactive group exercises was designed to provide a personal snapshot of how the individual behaves with money and other people.
There was a post-exercise debriefing in which participants described their reactions to the instructions, the exercise, and their interaction to fellow human beings. They were able to see how they related to people when money was involved.
Then an interesting thing happened. One person dismissed the previous 20 minutes of the exercise as not counting because it really wasn’t his Life. Even though he participated, he did not see that twenty minutes as part of his Life. While others could understand that the way they engaged others during the exercise was how they engage others in their daily lives, this gentleman dismissed the exercise and said it did not count. When queried about whose Life he was living during those 20 minutes, if not his own, he still dismissed it.
That is where he stopped in his relationships. He made some count and others did not count. Some were worth his whole self and those that did not count were dismissed in his mind as not part of his Life – even if he was the one interacting with the person. He dismissed 20 minutes of his Life as well as his interaction with another human being: So much for compartmentalized thinking.
Here is a lesson from Life 101: The final curtain will fall. When it does, even if everyone is standing in applause for how you lived your Life, there is no encore!
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
I conducted a workshop for the sales staff of an insurance company on their personal relationship to money. One of the interactive group exercises was designed to provide a personal snapshot of how the individual behaves with money and other people.
There was a post-exercise debriefing in which participants described their reactions to the instructions, the exercise, and their interaction to fellow human beings. They were able to see how they related to people when money was involved.
Then an interesting thing happened. One person dismissed the previous 20 minutes of the exercise as not counting because it really wasn’t his Life. Even though he participated, he did not see that twenty minutes as part of his Life. While others could understand that the way they engaged others during the exercise was how they engage others in their daily lives, this gentleman dismissed the exercise and said it did not count. When queried about whose Life he was living during those 20 minutes, if not his own, he still dismissed it.
That is where he stopped in his relationships. He made some count and others did not count. Some were worth his whole self and those that did not count were dismissed in his mind as not part of his Life – even if he was the one interacting with the person. He dismissed 20 minutes of his Life as well as his interaction with another human being: So much for compartmentalized thinking.
Here is a lesson from Life 101: The final curtain will fall. When it does, even if everyone is standing in applause for how you lived your Life, there is no encore!
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
Monday, January 4, 2010
ARE YOU SEEKING SOMETHING NEW, BUT HOLDING BACK?
Website: http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com
I had a recent conversation with someone about what that person might like to do over the next ten years of working before retirement. In this case, the children were grown and had completed their education. The individual wanted to do something else, yet, some of the usual considerations were keeping this person from seriously contemplating what would bring personal fulfillment and be meaningful in the way work.
This is where soul searching and prayerful contemplation can help one to discover what to do to fulfill one’s purpose. Unlike goals, your purpose is a constant and keeps going. Goals, on the other hand, get completed and new goals are created. Being on purpose is the compass for your Life. You can do many things over the years and still be on track with your purpose for being.
Fear is the biggest thing that holds people back from venturing forth in their lives. We often settle for so little in fulfillment because we fear the unknown and we fear making a mistake.
One of the things I mention about Goal Setting – Action Plan and Due Dates, on my website (http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/goals2.html) is that before you venture forth you want to align your goals with your principles so that you can experience inner and outer harmony when you achieve them. Choosing goals that are dissonant to your core values will more than likely bring unhappiness if they manifest at all. I suggest that the first place to start is to ask God to guide you to know what you should seek in your Life.
When I have done this and know what it is that I am to do, my trust that God will provide allows me to venture forth and begin the process of getting past the fears that keep me stuck. Might you desire to do something with your Life and are you holding back? What are your thoughts?
Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
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