http://www.etheldrayton-craig.com/
I was a keynote speaker this past weekend at a church women’s luncheon. In that speech, I explored daily practices that would encourage their spirit and ensure execution of their authority in the Kingdom of God so that they could produce the things they desired in their lives for the glory of the Lord.
In the list of things was my suggestion to: Enjoy the things with which you have been Blessed.
I asked, “What things do you own that you never use? Why? For what are you saving them? Do you own things that you find are too good to use? Finally, “What does that say about how you value yourself, or your trust in the Lord’s ability to add to you and to give you increase?”
I spoke about my grandmother who had a long, rose colored chenille bathrobe that was kept in a mysterious hall closet with a skeleton key, when I was a child. She would say, “That robe is for when I get sick.” Or, “in case I have to go to the hospital (she wanted to look good).”
She was basically in good health during her Life, yet, about once a year she would take to the bed with her rose robe and be ill for 3 or 4 days, with moaning, upset stomach, and everyone tending to her. The robe would never be used the rest of the year.
In her later years, it went with her to the hospital for the various times she had eye surgery – and she would moan and get into character of being really sick. Likewise, she had sets of towels that never got used because they were “for company”, or they were “for display”.
What do you have that could add to the fullness of your Life that is locked in a closet, on display in the china closet, or wrapped somewhere and out of sight?
You can’t recapture today.
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
Monday, May 17, 2010
Monday, May 10, 2010
WHEN THE BEST THING TO DO IS NOTHING
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Every so often I notice that I run into an extended period where things break and require repair – with altered daily routines that invariably throw me off-track. There are complications with business transactions, contracts, and accounts during this time period and there are external delays for promised goods, services, or whatever is needed.
Over the past two weeks, I have experienced several of these in addition to the revelation that an out-of-state relative was ill, but uncooperative to any intervention and assistance from others. While action for him was required, no action could be taken except speculative communication by and among extended family members scattered about various states.
It felt that every avenue was blocked to me during this time period. While necessary steps to get things repaired were underway, it was going to take a week. Projects were on hold because necessary input from others was not forthcoming. There were two disappointments with business endeavors, and so on. I even began to notice how frequently my path was blocked while driving during this period. Frequently, road repairs required detours that added to my drive time. I noticed that although I was driving in a relaxed manner and not rushing, a vehicle would turn into the road just before me and go at a much slower pace. I understood, with a smile on my face.
I have been here before. It is frustrating to say the least. There were moments during this time that I expressed my anger, as well. There were moments of sadness at the impact some of these events had, and there was quiet laughter at the spectacle of the whole thing – because I understood. Most of all, there was a lot of prayer, quiet time, a declaration that God was working things out in His own time, and there was the morning last week that I realized, “The best thing I can do today is nothing about any of these things: absolutely nothing.”
I did not attempt to do any business or solve any problems, and I let others handle what they needed to handle. I took a mental vacation and spent the day outdoors. I planted flowers and walked in the park. In the evening, I went to the mall to browse, came home and watched television, then went to bed early. Each day since then I took a break from doing business projects and filled my days with relaxing activities. Already, three things have resolved themselves.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing.
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
Every so often I notice that I run into an extended period where things break and require repair – with altered daily routines that invariably throw me off-track. There are complications with business transactions, contracts, and accounts during this time period and there are external delays for promised goods, services, or whatever is needed.
Over the past two weeks, I have experienced several of these in addition to the revelation that an out-of-state relative was ill, but uncooperative to any intervention and assistance from others. While action for him was required, no action could be taken except speculative communication by and among extended family members scattered about various states.
It felt that every avenue was blocked to me during this time period. While necessary steps to get things repaired were underway, it was going to take a week. Projects were on hold because necessary input from others was not forthcoming. There were two disappointments with business endeavors, and so on. I even began to notice how frequently my path was blocked while driving during this period. Frequently, road repairs required detours that added to my drive time. I noticed that although I was driving in a relaxed manner and not rushing, a vehicle would turn into the road just before me and go at a much slower pace. I understood, with a smile on my face.
I have been here before. It is frustrating to say the least. There were moments during this time that I expressed my anger, as well. There were moments of sadness at the impact some of these events had, and there was quiet laughter at the spectacle of the whole thing – because I understood. Most of all, there was a lot of prayer, quiet time, a declaration that God was working things out in His own time, and there was the morning last week that I realized, “The best thing I can do today is nothing about any of these things: absolutely nothing.”
I did not attempt to do any business or solve any problems, and I let others handle what they needed to handle. I took a mental vacation and spent the day outdoors. I planted flowers and walked in the park. In the evening, I went to the mall to browse, came home and watched television, then went to bed early. Each day since then I took a break from doing business projects and filled my days with relaxing activities. Already, three things have resolved themselves.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is nothing.
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
WORDS MATTER
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I am reminded this morning that words matter. The very young children at our church service put on a lovely musical to complement the sermon. One of the songs they sang said that words matter. Just yesterday, I read something by Julia Cameron who has written several books on creativity. She, too, stressed that words matter.
It is important to us to be diligent in the words we choose because we try not to offend others in how we communicate. Yet, it is more important that we show due diligence in our words because we are vulnerable to our own descriptions of events, actions, and situations. Self-talk can especially damage our esteem and limit how we play in the game of Life. Words have pejorative connotations and perspectives that easily render us defeated before we rise to the occasion of challenge.
In working with numerous colleagues in grass roots community endeavors, it is amazing to watch an individual become confused, fearful, unable to provide leadership, break down and back out at the last minute before an event or presentation, and show limited creative solutions to problems – all because of the frequent statements of “I can’t” to express doubt and fear.
We certainly want to be kind to others in our use of words. However, we really need to be kind to ourselves with how we label and describe situations. It can mark the distinction between effort vs. struggle; power vs. ineffectiveness; clarity vs. confusion; hope vs. defeat.
“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
I am reminded this morning that words matter. The very young children at our church service put on a lovely musical to complement the sermon. One of the songs they sang said that words matter. Just yesterday, I read something by Julia Cameron who has written several books on creativity. She, too, stressed that words matter.
It is important to us to be diligent in the words we choose because we try not to offend others in how we communicate. Yet, it is more important that we show due diligence in our words because we are vulnerable to our own descriptions of events, actions, and situations. Self-talk can especially damage our esteem and limit how we play in the game of Life. Words have pejorative connotations and perspectives that easily render us defeated before we rise to the occasion of challenge.
In working with numerous colleagues in grass roots community endeavors, it is amazing to watch an individual become confused, fearful, unable to provide leadership, break down and back out at the last minute before an event or presentation, and show limited creative solutions to problems – all because of the frequent statements of “I can’t” to express doubt and fear.
We certainly want to be kind to others in our use of words. However, we really need to be kind to ourselves with how we label and describe situations. It can mark the distinction between effort vs. struggle; power vs. ineffectiveness; clarity vs. confusion; hope vs. defeat.
“So shall my word be that goeth forth out of my mouth: it shall not return unto me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.” (Isaiah 55:11)
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
QUALITY OF LIFE AND MOBILE TECHNOLOGY
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During the week I have had conversations with friends about the technological gadgets our children have and how they are altering the quality of their experiences. One friend felt that her adult son will not know the joys of just traveling and enjoying the beauty of a vacation with all that it offers without being “connected” to some mobile device.
Their lives, being filled with all things digital (buzzes, ring tones, access 24/7), means that they are never likely to vacation without the devices and that they are ALWAYS ON to the beck and call of another. Further, they will pay a price for that. This is not exclusive to youth. It affects adults as well.
I realize that I cannot go to a public business luncheon or dinner event without someone plopping down a wad of keys, handbag, wallet, purse, or mobile phone on a lovely table set with linens, china, silver, glassware, and food. These are the new table accessories that most of us have to put up with during the meal by people who never realize how they detract from the aesthetics the host carefully planned for the enjoyment of all, or how they contribute to the unsanitary spread of germs. I dare to think of all the surfaces those items have touched that sit next to my food, silverware, and serving utensils. It is rude.
To sit with someone at a meal who has his/her smart phone on – buzzing away and frequently messaging above or under the table while he/she drops out of conversation with others, signifies to everyone at the table that they do not count to this person. It is a distraction to look at someone doing this while you try to maintain a conversation with others at the table above the drone of vibrating sounds or while you notice disinterest in what is being said. It is a distraction to have a dinner guest in your home being buzzed every two minutes while you and your dinner guests watch him/her look to see who sent the message and each time re-adjust the gadget on your dinner table. It is annoying to see a person at a meal or gathering with a blue tooth in his/her ear, or an iPod earbud. It is out of hand. It is intrusive and just plain rude.
Brendan Greeley likened it to cheating: cheating on one’s work, cheating on one’s spouse; cheating on one’s home; and cheating on one’s kids.
We have heard countless people say of their smart handheld devices, “I can’t live without it.” I wonder, is this the new idolatry - to give technology this kind of power or have it signify our apparent importance in the face of others?
To see something that man created rule his Life with such intensity and to be given dominion over that Life, makes me wonder just that. What is the head and who is the tail when an object is elevated to that much power in one’s daily Life?
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
During the week I have had conversations with friends about the technological gadgets our children have and how they are altering the quality of their experiences. One friend felt that her adult son will not know the joys of just traveling and enjoying the beauty of a vacation with all that it offers without being “connected” to some mobile device.
Their lives, being filled with all things digital (buzzes, ring tones, access 24/7), means that they are never likely to vacation without the devices and that they are ALWAYS ON to the beck and call of another. Further, they will pay a price for that. This is not exclusive to youth. It affects adults as well.
I realize that I cannot go to a public business luncheon or dinner event without someone plopping down a wad of keys, handbag, wallet, purse, or mobile phone on a lovely table set with linens, china, silver, glassware, and food. These are the new table accessories that most of us have to put up with during the meal by people who never realize how they detract from the aesthetics the host carefully planned for the enjoyment of all, or how they contribute to the unsanitary spread of germs. I dare to think of all the surfaces those items have touched that sit next to my food, silverware, and serving utensils. It is rude.
To sit with someone at a meal who has his/her smart phone on – buzzing away and frequently messaging above or under the table while he/she drops out of conversation with others, signifies to everyone at the table that they do not count to this person. It is a distraction to look at someone doing this while you try to maintain a conversation with others at the table above the drone of vibrating sounds or while you notice disinterest in what is being said. It is a distraction to have a dinner guest in your home being buzzed every two minutes while you and your dinner guests watch him/her look to see who sent the message and each time re-adjust the gadget on your dinner table. It is annoying to see a person at a meal or gathering with a blue tooth in his/her ear, or an iPod earbud. It is out of hand. It is intrusive and just plain rude.
Brendan Greeley likened it to cheating: cheating on one’s work, cheating on one’s spouse; cheating on one’s home; and cheating on one’s kids.
We have heard countless people say of their smart handheld devices, “I can’t live without it.” I wonder, is this the new idolatry - to give technology this kind of power or have it signify our apparent importance in the face of others?
To see something that man created rule his Life with such intensity and to be given dominion over that Life, makes me wonder just that. What is the head and who is the tail when an object is elevated to that much power in one’s daily Life?
© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
FOR GRADUATES, ON SUCCESS
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On numerous occasions I have had the opportunity to talk to groups of graduating students. It is a wonderful time for them when they are in their senior year of study with all of the anticipation of what success will bring. It can be a scary time, too: Friendships will be taking on a new dynamic. Some will fade and some may stand the test of time.
Yet, for those facing the prospect of finding a job, it might be scarier. Recently, I heard a soon-to-be graduate, who will have an advanced degree from a professional school, remark that he/she did not go to school to end up with the same salary he/she had before starting school. If Life could be that simple! We are not entitled to employment or to a particular salary. We are not entitled to employment in our field of study.
We would like to think that earnest study will pay off with our dreams fulfilled. However, God has the plans for how He wants to use us. Sometimes, that fits our pictures and sometimes it doesn’t. The process of Life’s journey may have twists and turns in the road but we are always where we need to be for the lessons we are to learn and for the talents we are to acquire to be in position for what God plans for later on.
This is why I tell young people to put God first in one’s Life and to be attuned to the guidance He gives. Rather than seeking money first and foremost, do what you love and let the money follow. Doing what you love is where your heart is and that is likely to be aligned with your purpose for Being rather than the purpose of solely securing money.
There is nothing wrong with dreaming big and going for what you want in Life, but, the prayer should be, “God, if it is Your will.” It just might be that the success you dream comes after a few detours and later on in time.
© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig, 2010
On numerous occasions I have had the opportunity to talk to groups of graduating students. It is a wonderful time for them when they are in their senior year of study with all of the anticipation of what success will bring. It can be a scary time, too: Friendships will be taking on a new dynamic. Some will fade and some may stand the test of time.
Yet, for those facing the prospect of finding a job, it might be scarier. Recently, I heard a soon-to-be graduate, who will have an advanced degree from a professional school, remark that he/she did not go to school to end up with the same salary he/she had before starting school. If Life could be that simple! We are not entitled to employment or to a particular salary. We are not entitled to employment in our field of study.
We would like to think that earnest study will pay off with our dreams fulfilled. However, God has the plans for how He wants to use us. Sometimes, that fits our pictures and sometimes it doesn’t. The process of Life’s journey may have twists and turns in the road but we are always where we need to be for the lessons we are to learn and for the talents we are to acquire to be in position for what God plans for later on.
This is why I tell young people to put God first in one’s Life and to be attuned to the guidance He gives. Rather than seeking money first and foremost, do what you love and let the money follow. Doing what you love is where your heart is and that is likely to be aligned with your purpose for Being rather than the purpose of solely securing money.
There is nothing wrong with dreaming big and going for what you want in Life, but, the prayer should be, “God, if it is Your will.” It just might be that the success you dream comes after a few detours and later on in time.
© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
PERSONAL SIGNIFICANCE
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I recently attended an event highlighting the accomplishments of some young people and it was interesting to see their projects. Yet, none of them was in attendance for their event. I said to the instructor, “They don’t get who they really are. They don’t realize their significance.”
A sense of personal significance is what has you show up – ready, willing and able. It is what has you make a difference in the Life of someone else, and it is what motivates the desire to pursue excellence. A sense of personal significance is a key ingredient for success. It is also a necessary component to successful relationships.
When you do not think that you matter in a situation, it is easy to turn back, be absent, or not interact in a meaningful way with others. When you do not fully embrace your significance there is room to not give your opinion, not respond to others (like return phone calls, respond to mail and emails) and essentially you allow yourself to think that things don’t matter that pertain to you when others are involved.
There are a myriad of ways we can begin to build a greater sense of self-worth, or personal significance. It can start at home with yourself and how you treat yourself.
This past year has been a remarkable journey. As I found myself moving towards something new, I also began to assess the things around me. In the fall, I came across two Still Life pastels I created about 18 years ago. I thought they looked nice then, but I never did anything with them. Sometimes, I would have them out on a dresser or display shelf. Most of the time, they were in a plastic bag shuffled from space to space.
I looked at these two works of art of my creation with new eyes of appreciation last fall and decided that they were expressions of me at a key time in my Life and they were finally going to get their due. I took them to the craft shop and spent two hours playing around with frames and mats. I finally placed my order. It was an extra treat to hear the framer praise my work and inquire if they were for sale and if I show at galleries. No, they were just for me: after 18 years, owning my significance to create and have it be valuable to me, at last.
Where can you own a greater sense of your personal significance?
© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig, 2010
I recently attended an event highlighting the accomplishments of some young people and it was interesting to see their projects. Yet, none of them was in attendance for their event. I said to the instructor, “They don’t get who they really are. They don’t realize their significance.”
A sense of personal significance is what has you show up – ready, willing and able. It is what has you make a difference in the Life of someone else, and it is what motivates the desire to pursue excellence. A sense of personal significance is a key ingredient for success. It is also a necessary component to successful relationships.
When you do not think that you matter in a situation, it is easy to turn back, be absent, or not interact in a meaningful way with others. When you do not fully embrace your significance there is room to not give your opinion, not respond to others (like return phone calls, respond to mail and emails) and essentially you allow yourself to think that things don’t matter that pertain to you when others are involved.
There are a myriad of ways we can begin to build a greater sense of self-worth, or personal significance. It can start at home with yourself and how you treat yourself.
This past year has been a remarkable journey. As I found myself moving towards something new, I also began to assess the things around me. In the fall, I came across two Still Life pastels I created about 18 years ago. I thought they looked nice then, but I never did anything with them. Sometimes, I would have them out on a dresser or display shelf. Most of the time, they were in a plastic bag shuffled from space to space.
I looked at these two works of art of my creation with new eyes of appreciation last fall and decided that they were expressions of me at a key time in my Life and they were finally going to get their due. I took them to the craft shop and spent two hours playing around with frames and mats. I finally placed my order. It was an extra treat to hear the framer praise my work and inquire if they were for sale and if I show at galleries. No, they were just for me: after 18 years, owning my significance to create and have it be valuable to me, at last.
Where can you own a greater sense of your personal significance?
© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
A SPLENDID EASTER WEEKEND
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The Easter weekend has been inspiring, beginning with Friday. I went to a Good Friday service for the first time in my Life and stayed the three hours for the half hour segments that started at noon. I wanted to do this as part of my devotion this Lent to focus on prayer, meditation, and my work.
In the evening, I went to the First Friday merchant event in Bethlehem and visited the Banana Factory exhibit of Charles Stonewall’s photo documentary project for kids at risk. They produced INCREDIBLE bound books of their photographs with covers that they created. AWESOME talent. Then I visited two other gallery openings there and met many friends.
Later, I met loads of other acquaintances in the street. At First Fridays, hundreds of people walk the strip and it creates a Greenwich Village atmosphere for this artsy “left bank” type of section of Bethlehem. With the weather in the high 70’s, the world was out. I even bumped into someone who I reconnected with on LinkedIn this week that used to live here and is now in Massachusetts – and was here visiting this weekend! We hugged and kissed like old home week. The merchants know me, so it can be lively. They provide wine, cheese, punch, and cookies so that crowds come in to visit, talk, shop, and listen to musical artists.
Saturday was gorgeous and the love in the air had loads of grown adults stopping or slowing down in their cars to honk and wave to the Easter Bunny on the corner of a 4-lane intersection. The Bunny was waving to us as it stood next to a sign for the Easter flowers at the nearby nursery. I honked from the other side of the street and waved just before I made my turn. I honked and waved coming back. The number of fun loving adults honking was amazing. We see the Easter Bunny and we remember chocolate! Gotta honk.
Of course Easter service was auspicious with an inspiring message. Later, my walk in the park winding with the river full of wading fishermen, and the blowing chartreuse weeping willow trees in bloom created a picture postcard memory. Yet, nothing tops that better than a feast with friends for Easter dinner.
It was a beautiful weekend. May the promise of the season magnify in your Life this week.
© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
The Easter weekend has been inspiring, beginning with Friday. I went to a Good Friday service for the first time in my Life and stayed the three hours for the half hour segments that started at noon. I wanted to do this as part of my devotion this Lent to focus on prayer, meditation, and my work.
In the evening, I went to the First Friday merchant event in Bethlehem and visited the Banana Factory exhibit of Charles Stonewall’s photo documentary project for kids at risk. They produced INCREDIBLE bound books of their photographs with covers that they created. AWESOME talent. Then I visited two other gallery openings there and met many friends.
Later, I met loads of other acquaintances in the street. At First Fridays, hundreds of people walk the strip and it creates a Greenwich Village atmosphere for this artsy “left bank” type of section of Bethlehem. With the weather in the high 70’s, the world was out. I even bumped into someone who I reconnected with on LinkedIn this week that used to live here and is now in Massachusetts – and was here visiting this weekend! We hugged and kissed like old home week. The merchants know me, so it can be lively. They provide wine, cheese, punch, and cookies so that crowds come in to visit, talk, shop, and listen to musical artists.
Saturday was gorgeous and the love in the air had loads of grown adults stopping or slowing down in their cars to honk and wave to the Easter Bunny on the corner of a 4-lane intersection. The Bunny was waving to us as it stood next to a sign for the Easter flowers at the nearby nursery. I honked from the other side of the street and waved just before I made my turn. I honked and waved coming back. The number of fun loving adults honking was amazing. We see the Easter Bunny and we remember chocolate! Gotta honk.
Of course Easter service was auspicious with an inspiring message. Later, my walk in the park winding with the river full of wading fishermen, and the blowing chartreuse weeping willow trees in bloom created a picture postcard memory. Yet, nothing tops that better than a feast with friends for Easter dinner.
It was a beautiful weekend. May the promise of the season magnify in your Life this week.
© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig
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