WAITING PATIENTLY

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     The grandson of my neighbor was a cute trusting little boy.  He and his sister lived with his grandmother who kept a meticulous front yard of flowers accentuated by two evergreen bushes.  He was about eight years old when I suggested that someday he would be as tall as the shrubs which dwarfed him at the time.  Yet, every new birthday, I would ask him how old he was and have him stand by the bush to compare his height.  He, inevitably, was not there yet.  It would appear that he had some expectation walking over to the bush that they would be on par. Thus, he would ask, “Miss Ethel, am I as tall as the bush yet?”  He wasn’t, and I would state that some day he was going to be a big boy and would be as tall as the bush. 

     I do not know how he felt in between the days of the year after a birthday and before the next one.  More than likely he went about his business and got absorbed in other things of childhood, perhaps checking himself near the bush from time to time on his own.

     One day I was standing outside the fence to his yard.  His grandfather was in the yard, as well as he.  I had no thought about his progress when he caught me off guard and said, “Miss Ethel, look!”  He was standing next to the bush inside the yard and opposite me.  I looked for a moment not realizing what he wanted me to see when all of a sudden I got it!  Not only was he the height of the bush, but he was actually slightly taller.  While placing my arm out like a ruler over his head, he beamed with a smile from ear to ear.  I exclaimed with great celebration that he was now a young man.

     As adults, sometimes we have to wait – even a long time to see hoped for results.  In that period of time we are to experience the process of Life unfolding and things evolving and changing whether they are apparent or not.

“Waiting is the missing link in the transformation process.”  (Sue Monk Kidd)

© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig, 2010

RENEWAL

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     It has always amazed me:  the number of people who work throughout the year in a single job and do not avail themselves of earned vacation time.  Through my years of corporate and other jobs, I had colleagues who would take a few Fridays off during the summer, or add a day or two on to a July 4^th or Labor Day holiday, and that was it – leaving sometimes three weeks of vacation days unused and lost when not taken. 

     Summer is not the only time to take a vacation.  Many people prefer fall vacations, and others prefer winter.  However, I advocate taking a length of days away from one’s place of employment for the purpose of renewal and to become refreshed so that one can have a new perspective upon returning.

     Granted, we are in a time when people are working multiple jobs, are covering for positions that have been eliminated, or have limited funds to enable them the luxury of doing much in the way of recreation.  Here are some activities that are simple, inexpensive, and possibly free:

·         Take a long walk in a park or countryside.  Pause to examine the flowers, leaves, trees, and insects, up close.  Take such a walk alone, in silence – without ear buds for music, and without the cell phone on.

·         Create a picnic breakfast, lunch, or dinner.  Have it in a park, yard, or meadow.  Use lovely linens, dishes, glasses, flowers and make it fit for a king or queen.  Do this for a party of 1 or for a friend(s).

·         Open the windows of your house or apartment and listen to the birds chirp, to the sounds of the insects, and feel the breeze.  Play soothing soft music.

·         Begin a journal and make entries about your activities and feelings.  Paste small photos, magazine photos, and memorabilia in it.

·         Spend a morning or afternoon looking through a magazine, old photos, or picture book.

·         Spend time in a library or bookstore browsing through books and magazines.

·         Take a day excursion bus ride to a place of interest.  Bus companies offer packages that include bus fare, entrance fee, meal, and guided tour.  This way, you are carefree and do not have to drive.

·         Spend an hour or more in an art store or hobby store.  Browse and handle the merchandise.

·         Treat yourself to a free afternoon or evening outdoor concert sponsored by your local band or municipal park and recreation department.  Bring a lawn chair.

·         Do something you have never done.  Go somewhere you have never gone.  Cook something you have never cooked.  Eat something you have never eaten.

·         Go to a toy store.  Spend 1 hour browsing and playing with the toys.  Buy yourself one item such as a ball, jacks, bubbles, or whatever strikes your fancy.  Come home and play with it.

·         Spend 1 hour in a fabric store or store where there are samples of textiles for interior decorating or upholstery.  Spend time looking at patterns, feeling the textures between your fingers, and enjoying the colors.

          When you return to work, see what you can retain in how you conduct your day.

©  Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

THE PROMISE

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The winter was just breaking enough for the children to run about and play outside on the weekends. There were new children joining in with the ones I had come to recognize from last summer. I asked the name of one of the new children and over the weeks we would exchange words as I worked in my yard, or sat outside on those particularly warm March and April days.


Whenever Raul would see me, he found time to fill me in on the latest news about his day. He was in the first grade and he shared that he was living with a foster care mother who had other foster children. Raul, however, was going to return to his original state once the school year ended. It was quite a distance away.


I was always amused when he would greet me because he started each sentence with “Guess what?” Sometimes, I would tease him letting him know he was on his third, “guess what”. Near spring recess he eagerly shouted, “Guess what?” to get my attention. I replied, “What?” He beamed that he had gotten A’s on his report card and the teacher thought he was doing well.


Praising his accomplishment, I told him that if he kept it up and got all A’s on his report card in June, I would buy him an ice cream cone to celebrate. He took me on. From time to time I would ask him how he was coming along in school and he appeared to be confident that he was continuing to do well.


School was out on Thursday and I looked for Raul to hear about his report card – hoping to see him that late afternoon before I left for a speaking engagement. I did not see him. Friday afternoon was busy and as I pulled in the back of the house, Raul was walking in my direction. I motioned for him to come to the car and I asked about the report card. He said, “ All A’s!” with a smile. He added that he had some 4’s and 3’s. I was not sure about what that meant and he assured me that they were good grades for his reading skills.


I praised his accomplishment and asked him what he wanted to be in Life. He said, “a Vet.”

I reassured him how wonderful that was and how possible for him. Upon asking him for his last name, he told me, and I gave him his full name with the “Dr.” added before it, telling him that would be his name once he achieved his goal.


“Guess this means that I owe you an ice cream”, I said, to which he replied, “You sure do!”

Inquiring about his schedule, he was unavailable on Saturday and he indicated that he was leaving for his new home on Sunday and would not be coming back. I looked at my watch and knew that I had to stop and keep my promise because he kept his. He told me the kind of ice cream and sprinkles he wanted, so off I went to get it, returning within 5 minutes.


This would be a farewell to Raul. I told him to promise me that he would always do his very, very best in school and that even if it might be difficult over the years living in different situations, that he would never let anyone take away his education from him, and to remember that he can be Dr. Raul _________. He promised.


Standing by my driver’s door with his ice cream, he looked at me with serious 7- year old eyes and said, “I will never ever forget you.”


It pierced me like an arrow in my gut and my eyes welled up with water.


© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

CREATING OUT OF ONE'S PASSION

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     I am inspired by older individuals who have begun new careers and vocations late in Life and who have a zeal for living, learning and creating well into their 80s and 90s.  With patience and enthusiasm, they hone a new craft and exhibit mastery on hobbies that require skill like art and music.

     I have become enthused by a digital journaling class that has me taking my camera with me daily for practice.  In addition to weekly classes, the small group goes out to various locations for photo shoots together.  As we are beginning to study the styles of renowned photographers to establish our personal preferences, after a shoot this weekend, the group spent time together in the library perusing the oversized photography books by such legends.

     Several of these photographers have carried their passion for creating across fields and across media over a lifetime of hardships, accomplishments, and opportunities while diligently learning how to apply and expand their craft – producing and creating out of their passion well into their late 80s and 90s.

     In sharpening the vision in my mind’s eye to the outward print, I have had several personal “aha” moments regarding my Life by engaging in this process of photographing, making prints, studying the qualities of the print, and journaling with words and pictures - my daily experiences.  I invite you to contemplate two questions I have posed to myself in the process:

1.    My creativity comes from where and goes where?

2.    What is the next stretch – what will personally stretch me to the next level?

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

SURRENDER

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Years ago I took off to spend a considerable length of time in France, exploring the country at my leisure while driving and lingering where I pleased, for as long as I pleased.

I envisioned this trip to be a real adventure of going with the flow and being in the moment. I purposely did not plan hotel reservations and expected to call ahead as I went along. I also took a quick course in driving stick shift for the leased vehicle on order for my arrival.

Little did I know how much of an adventure awaited me: I arrived at the start of a national holiday when most countrymen vacation. It took some doing to find lodging for the first 4 days. My vehicle came with an instruction manual in French and German, and my rusty French was not ready for translating mechanical terminology. My car stalled often because I had not mastered the clutch. I barely knew where I was going because of the language barrier. Smoke and the smell of something electrical emanated from my dashboard on the first afternoon. On the third day, someone pointed out that my gas tank was releasing droplets of gasoline – which scared me sufficiently well after he indicated that the car could explode from a spark. Given this was a long holiday weekend, I could not service my vehicle until I could get to a city on the southern coast several days later.

Need I say that I was a distraught bundle of nerves and full of fear with all of these issues weighing on me? In addition, the exorbitant speed of vehicles on the autoroute was enough to frighten the stripes off a tiger.

I was wrought with worry that a spark might ignite the car. So many days of worry left me with no appetite. I could not take another minute of the stress. While driving, I remember calling out to God and saying aloud, “Maybe this car is going to blow up. Maybe I am going to crash because all of these speeding cars. I cannot stand another minute of this fright. But if this is your plan, so be it! It will happen while I am driving to the Riviera, because that is where I am headed!”

Then something happened. I heard a voice say, “There is that in me that is greater than that in the world.” Also, “God has given me dominion over all things.”

I was shocked to hear it and inspired by these biblical references (1 John 4:4 and Gen. 1:26).  I became new. With this revelation I reminded myself that there was that in me that created the asphalt, the rubber tires, and the metal car! All along I was giving dominion to these things that were created by man and I was letting them run me!

I was new. My spirit was new. No more fear, no more worry. I just let go and knew that God was in charge. From that moment, things got better. I got to each destination with ease. I stopped worrying about the highway signs. I had the best lodging throughout my stay in splendid locations. The trip was so much better after I surrendered to God to take care of things for me. What a lesson.


© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

PEOPLE I HAVE KNOWN

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I sat quietly Sunday morning listening to the chorus of birds chirping from the trees in the neighborhood. Rachmaninov and Chopin piano concertos played softly in the background. All were still. There were no motors revving over lawns. Children were still inside and there was quiet. In the stillness I began to think about people I have known and what they have done to add to my Life.

I decided to list their names and next the name, write what it is/was in the relationship that I appreciate and for which I have gratitude.

One friend came to mind because whenever I think of her and envision her in my mind’s eye, I think “joy, light, kindness, and love towards others”. She makes strangers and people who work in the capacity of serving, feel worthy.

What I hold dear is the living demonstration this person is for me to not take others for granted and to take time to add words of kindness and conversation to those whom I can overlook in my haste to complete a transaction.

This person has a remarkable gift that is brought to others. That is why it is uplifting to be in her radiant presence.

This week, I invite you to think about those individuals who have added to your Life and to practice awareness of others with whom you are in contact. Add a blessing to them in your interaction.



© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

THE VALUE OF WHAT YOU SAY

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When my son was younger and was directed by me to do something, occasionally he would ask, “Why?” There were times when I would give him a reason and at other times I would respond, “Because I said so.” I might have added, “And for no other reason!”

Such it is with Life, you command your thoughts and actions and you go where your thoughts take you. There are days when we would rather not do something because we don’t feel like it. There may be times that we would rather do something else but we said that we would do an activity with someone. What to do?


There is power in doing what you said you would do – holding to the integrity of your word. People learn that they can count on you and you learn that you can count on you….because you said so.


This can be a useful tool to get something done when you rather not, or to elevate your mood when you rather give in and give up. Give yourself a command that positively states a desired outcome, or describes how you would like to feel.  Because you said so, and for no other reason, do what is necessary to bring about the desired outcome. It may take practice, yet after a short time, you are likely to notice that you can leverage low ambition or desire into fruitful outcomes.

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010