A PROCESS

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          I notice that whenever I am at turning points in my Life, I go through a process to get from one end to another.  It could be something that I seek to accomplish for myself, or how I deal with something that has come upon me – into my Life.

     The word process, in and of itself, suggests that it is something that occurs over time.  As such, movement or progress is in increments and not likely to be visible.  Yet, I am being carried along the way from some point to another. 

     Besides prayer, contemplation, and meditation, when faced with difficult times of transition, I also have used physical activity, walks in nature, art, music, dance, and self-expression in some form to assist me in getting through the period. I can remember enrolling in an art class some 20 years ago when I needed to gain clarity for a major decision affecting my Life.  Imagine that…using a small group class in an artist’s studio on Saturday mornings, in the winter, to help me grow through the challenge of making a life altering decision! This was my first art class, so I was not an artist and the course did not bill itself as something in the realm of therapy or problem-solving, either.  It was just an art class, a form of self-expression.

      I am reminded of the days when I was nearing the end of doctoral studies and seeking clarity for creating a research project.  Out of the blue, I began to make bread, week after week.  Every aspect of the process brought me joy – from shopping for the whole grains, to trying recipes in The Tassajara Bread Book, (a gift from a former doctoral student).  I especially liked kneading the bread with my hands.  That was the therapy.  I loved watching the dough rise in the cloth covered bowls on my window sill.  That would put a smile on my face and bring me joy tinged with surprise as my eyes beheld the huge mound that rose under the cloth.  It was like magic and it reminded me of my childhood delight in watching my grandmother uncover the dough for her dinner rolls and bread.  It would be hours of a process for her and we couldn’t bother the dough during that process, but what magic to see it after the yeast made it rise.  The smell of the dough rising and its baking was the best part.

     In all cases, the hobby, creative activity, and physical activity allowed for reflection, contemplation, self-expression and appreciation as a process.  In all cases, I came out on the other side and came out well.

© Drayton-Craig, 2011

INERTIA

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     Every now and then, we get into a period that feels static.  It is not that we are spinning our wheels, but we just don’t feel like we are accomplishing much.   We may not be doing new fun things, but merely existing through a day to day predictable schedule. 

     The seasons may not help the situation because as individuals we may function differently in different seasons.  For example, we may find ourselves functioning best in the icy cold months.  Some people relish rainy, snowy, or bleak days because they offer time to be still, contemplate, and get work done.  Others may prefer the warmth of long sunny days in spring and summer.  Each of us should be aware of the personal ingredients needed for our optimal functioning.  Yet, there may be things that one can do to re-charge one’s battery regardless of the external variables like weather, so that you can get moving and become inspired.  A vacation somewhere might do the trick.  However, there are inexpensive or free ways that can also work:

Read a biography or autobiography from the library of someone, not necessarily of grand stature, but of someone who beat the odds, or started to triumph late in Life; someone who started a second or third career; someone who did not come from wealth, yet, who excelled with prolific creativity.

Read a book from the library about anything other than what you would normally read about.

Pick up your camera and take pictures from your window.  Take pictures of objects in your home.  Print them.  Make a collage of the photos, or glue them into a journal and write about your feelings.

Spend a weekend playing wonderful music throughout the house or apartment and commit to relaxing activities like daydreaming, cloud gazing, and writing cheerful note cards to others.  Put on a slow pot of soup while you are doing this, or bake cookies to eat or give to someone else.  Sit down to a cup of fine coffee or a beautiful place setting for a cup of tea.

Go someplace where you can dance.

Go to a movie in the middle of the day.

Take a bus ride or train ride to another city for the day, by yourself, and walk around; visit shops, have a meal, go to a museum or art gallery; and come back home.  Watch the scenery as you travel.

Do something you have never done.

     We don’t have to have a lot of resources to bring joy, a new perspective, a sense of being “on vacation”, or a sense of being nurtured, in order to put one’s self on a path of renewal.

© Drayton-Craig, 2011

CUTTING CORNERS

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     We are all likely to know someone whose modus operandi is to cut corners.  Undoubtedly, as children, we sought ways to cut corners for tasks required of us – only to “do over” the task correctly until it met the approval of a parent or teacher.  Over time, as we grew into adulthood, we developed wisdom to know it is better to do things right the first time; to take the necessary time, put out the necessary effort and excellence to make a project correct the first time. 

     Invariably, when you cut corners it costs you somewhere along the line.  How many times have I regretted trying to carry too many packages from my car, only to have breakage, ruining something, or tripping?  Many times, I have caught myself mumbling that I should have known better, while it takes me twice as long to clean up the mess.  If I had only made two or three trips into the house!  Lessons in Life have taught us and we sometimes try to sneak by, knowing all the while that saving time tends to cost time, money, and pain in the long run.

     The day after the big snowstorm I watched a neighbor who never shovels the common passageway in the back of our homes, regardless of how it impedes passage for everyone.  Each neighbor is responsible for clearing the way so that cars can get through to park and move.  Every neighbor on my strip and along the right side strip had their through-way cleared as they usually do, early in the morning.  He, however, started to move his box truck out from his snow covered parking pad and through-way.  He immediately got stuck and spent about 15 minutes spinning wheels and rocking before his children came out and his neighbor.  They pushed and pushed.  His wheels spun and spun.  Then he shoveled under the wheels and the truck inched ahead only to be stopped again.  He never figured out that it was easier to just shovel the entire space neatly and fully so that he could complete his turn and go straight.  I watched fearfully as the little boy wedged himself between the truck and the corner of the fence, and I prayed that the father would see him and not try to rock the vehicle.  I watched as the man later banged the truck into the corner of his fence and he still persisted.  This went on for over one and one-half hours!  He finally got free.  The kids climbed in the truck and off they went.  Immediately, a car coming in got stuck in front of his butchered through-way.  The woman got out, walked around her vehicle and began to telephone for help. 

     My next worry – that man never cleared any of the deep snow from the roof of the truck – which is law for a reason.

     Cutting corners…is it worth it?  What does it cost?  Who pays?

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2011

REFLECTION

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     As we wind down the year, one of my soothing tasks is to take a pen and pad and write a list, sentence after sentence, of all the things I am grateful for while scanning the events of my Life over the year. 

     I began the task this morning and I have already filled up 4 pages, front and back.  I haven’t read them out loud yet, and I am sure that I will feel so very blessed when I do.

     The people with whom I have interacted and the experiences I have had show me the good, the kindness, the forgiveness, the support, the vast richness and love we have given each other.

     My wish is that you have been equally blessed and that your joys, good health, love, peace, and prosperity cannot be contained in 2011, such that your good runneth over!

     Happy New Year!

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

THE REASON FOR THE DAY

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          While taking my walk the other day, I met a friend and asked, “How are you?”   The reply was, “Not so good, I’ve had a bad couple of days.”  Inquiring further, I learned that this person is sad this Christmas season because of a relationship that ended at the start of the summer.  We had spoken about that on previous occasions and I assumed my friend was moving on with Life.

     As we spoke, it became evident that my friend is gearing up for a miserable Christmas day, so much so, that this person plans to keep the radio and television off that day and paint a room to “forget” that it is Christmas.  I offered several suggestions of things to do to have a meaningful day that would add sunshine to this person’s experience, as well as to others.  Yet, it did not take long for me to realize that my friend was more committed to being miserable than to having an ok day, or even a joyous day. 

     I told this person that painting a room on Christmas day was not appropriate and certainly would not change the fact that it was Christmas.  In addition, if a room needed to be painted, paint it now and spend the day making others happy on Christmas…referring to my previous blog.  I pointed out how blessed this person was and is, as I referred to my personal friends who have just buried a son, buried a mother and grandmother, is having surgery today for cancer, and is having surgery about 2 days before Christmas. 

     I walked away, giving this one an “assignment” in planning for a different day than the one being created.  We laughed as we parted and I continued my walk, not sure what this person would do.  I reflected on the experience the rest of the way.  I thought to myself, that interaction was a blessing for me, in that I could look in the mirror.  We always have mirrors in our relationships with others.  It affirmed for me that the season and Christmas day has nothing to do with me, my circumstances, or us.  It is about the birth of Jesus, the Christ.  That is the celebration.  The hope and Light of this birth makes any personal issue pale in comparison.

     The season is one that finds people in all sorts of circumstances: career, health, finances, relationships, family, and housing.  If you celebrate Christmas, it is not about any of these.  It is not about Santa Claus or presents.  It is about His presence…His birth.

     Choose to live the day as a Blessing to someone, including you.

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

MAKING UNEMPLOYED SPIRITS BRIGHT AT HOLIDAY TIME

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     We have become a society of mall driven consumers during the month of December.  While those who have an abundance of money can afford to shop, and shop some more, and shop even more than that, those who find themselves unemployed and now without unemployment benefits have the additional stress of finding ways to enjoy the season without income. 

     I suggest a 20-day or 30-day diet that has nothing to do with food and everything to do with finding inspirational reading, conversations, and entertainment for that period of time.  If you can avoid the news for the duration, so much the better!  If you must tune into the news or read the newspaper, take only a small dose of it.  These actions will go a long way to help you keep your spirits up.

     During this time, rise early as you did when you were employed, spend time in quiet contemplation to start your day, and dress as if you were going to work.  Spend the morning doing the necessary actions to assist you in the job search:  researching companies, writing letters, making phone calls, and networking, to name a few.

     Take time in the afternoon to walk outside daily.  The fresh air will do you a world of good.  Then go places that will help you stay connected to seeing and interacting with people:  bookstores have tables where you can sit and read books and magazines, and libraries, too.  Both are free.  Getting out daily will lift your spirits.

     When it comes to gift giving, think of things that will be free or under $5 dollars, such as visiting with people who are elderly or shut in.  When visiting others, rather than bringing a gift, offer to do something with them (accompany them to an appointment, run errands for them, clean a room for them, fix something for them).  Take them a package of tea or a few packs of tea in a mug, with festive wrap.

     Consider giving family members and friends a gift wrapped talent: A lovely card or note in a small box or gift bag that says how you will share your talent with that person.

     Give yourself away:  VOLUNTEER.  Organize or join a toy drive or visit a pediatric hospital ward, or nursing home.  Read a book to the patient or resident.

     Bake something and give this as a gift to a friend.

     Make something to give someone: a simple wood craft, place mats of fabric or other material, decorate empty bottles with beautiful cut-out magazine pictures that are glued on and then covered with shellac. Make a pot holder mitt by hand.

     Most important, before you go to bed each night, find one thing, however small, to tell yourself that you accomplished that day.  In addition, find one thing for which you are grateful.  Keep a daily log or journal during these 20 days or 30 days, and record both of these items.

     Wishing you creative joy during this season.

~Ethel

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010