A BLESSING IN DISGUISE

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     About two years ago I bought a book that I found to be interesting by its cover and from perusing through its pages.  Like many of the books in my library, they sit on the shelf until I pull them down to read or wish to secure a nugget of wisdom and put it back on the shelf.

     This past summer I took the book off the shelf and began to read it.  I could not put it down and a few days ago I had the opportunity to listen to its author, Michael Gates Gill, in person. 

     Here is a person who was born into privilege with all of its trappings.  He had an Ivy League education and walked into a job at the leading advertising agency in America at that time.  Noting the price he paid for that insular existence of privilege and wealth, he spoke about company loyalty that required him to take a phone call Christmas morning while his children were opening presents.  Out of a sense of duty, he left them to go to the office to do work for a key client.  He missed out that important day with his family.

     Years later his Life changed, as did his fortunes and prestige.  He found himself working as a barista at Starbucks and his book, How Starbucks Saved My Life, chronicles that experience.  He was able to reflect upon his Life, his family and relationships, and his beliefs about people.  In the process, he realized that he was happier working at Starbucks than ever in his Life.  He told the audience that he gained “a part time job for a full time Life”, and he learned to “look with respect at every individual”.

     Sometimes with adversity, God is putting you into position for that which is to follow – for how He will use you next.  For this man, through his continued work at Starbucks, his book, lectures, and upcoming screenplay about his Life, God is using him to let us know to cherish our families and relationships, respect others, and know that money is not everything.

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

WHAT TO DO?

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          In recent weeks I have learned that several friends are being affected by leaving their place of employment shy of their intended retirement plans.  In other words, they find themselves suddenly in retirement that was not planned to take place yet.  What to do?

     Perhaps they had 2 years to go or 5 years.  They may have retirement funds upon which they can draw, or perhaps not.  This means that financial responsibilities appear difficult to cover in that case.

     The reactions, of course, vary because the personal Life circumstances also vary.  Yet, in all cases, the individuals find themselves at the place of the unknown.  A door has closed and a new door has not yet opened.  It is like standing in a lobby or waiting room wondering which door leads to the office you want and the convenience of a wall directory is not available.  What to do?

     With such an important Life transition, it may be best to embrace it until next steps reveal themselves – especially if the need is not there to immediately find new employment in order to survive.  Embrace it.  Give yourself time to go through the ups and downs of emotions this new stage of Life brings.  Use the time to clean-up and clear-out clutter and papers that have built up over the years. Complete things that have been dangling for some time.  The process is therapeutic.  Find something enjoyable to do every day and cultivate free pleasures.  Notice your moods and needs as the seasons change and what you learn about how you adapt to these changes.  Volunteer your time – a few hours a week.  Someone needs your help, enthusiasm, and expertise.  Keep a journal or have a notebook handy always to jot down ideas, feelings, and experiences.  Over time what will emerge is the path you should take regarding how to spend your retirement; semi-retirement; or new career.  What to do?  Embrace where you are.

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

THERE IS STILL TIME TO COMPLETE IT

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     September has the feeling of January when you consider our tendency to attempt a fresh start at our work.  In the summer we have been in a relaxed mode and enjoyed time away from work and other commitments.  Schedules became lighter.  Now that September has arrived and Labor Day is over, we think about work, back to school, and about making necessary repairs to our homes, automobiles and property in preparation for winter.  Our calendars fill up again with activities.

     Perhaps, you are facing a big project that you want to complete by year end.  Maybe this project has dragged on and you have not made headway.  Here are some suggestions to experience success with it:  Let go of any self-talk about what you have not been able to complete regarding the project and use today to renew and start refreshed.  See it as doable and possible, regardless of the challenges or set-backs you have experienced.  Create a bite-sized action plan and nibble away, step-by-step, in getting your project completed.  Keep in mind that you would do well to create inlets of inspiration for yourself.  Develop a laser beam focus as you work to complete this project.

     It can be done and YOU can do it.

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

WISHING EVERYONE A JOYOUS HOLIDAY

This weekend will give us the last holiday of the summer season. While we will all enjoy ourselves, there is a kind of undertow of sadness around Labor Day because it marks the end of summer, and we all love our summers. It is the time of the year when the child in us comes out to play. Summer brings with it a nostalgic feeling that brings back memories of our childhood days. Added to all those good feelings are all the good food and friends we get to share it all with. I have to admit, I am one of those people who loves the summer season, and I do get a little sad to see it go. But here's the antidote to those summer's end blues: Fall is just around the corner, bringing with it those magnificent Indian Summer days that makes it feel like it is summer all over again. Along with those sunny days are those delicious cool fall evenings that make our end-of-the-day walks perfect.

So let's celebrate all the seasons! And speaking of celebrating.  This past Friday, I launched  my Fall Book Signing Tour on "First Friday" at Fox Optical in Bethlehem, PA.   I want to THANK EVERYONE who came out and gave their support (and thanks to those who weren't able to attend, but who were there in spirit).  As promised, it was a wonderful event. 

I want to send my well wishes to everyone for a safe and joyous Labor Day Holiday!  Enjoy!

SO NEAR AND YET SO FAR

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     Many a good idea longs to be brought to fruition, but does not manifest as fruit because its owner does not take the risk to take actions to bring it into manifestation.  Or, its owner does not stand the test of time to weather the set-backs and delays in having it come to fruition.  I have come to learn that it takes a vision with action, along with tenacity, to see a goal through to its end.  In addition, it takes an abiding faith in God to weather the process. 

    

     I have seen people give up on dreams just short of their realization, sometimes never realizing how close they were.  The hardest part can be near the end.  It can also be at the beginning or in the middle.  There are also times, when the entire journey to create something is one struggle after another and there are no easier periods in the process.

     During my walk today, I remembered a journey I took to France many years ago and how incredibly hard the first day of my adventure had been from the time I arrived.  The playback in my mind’s eye this morning was of me at my wit’s end late that afternoon driving to a particular location.  With everything going wrong, especially with my vehicle, I was contemplating throwing in the towel and aborting the journey.  As I sat in the center of what seemed like the biggest gridlock I had ever seen (caused by my lifeless car in the middle of the intersection), I just wanted to give up.  At that time, images ran in my mind about how to leave the vehicle with the keys right there and walk away.  Then something came over me and I breathed deeply with a momentary sense that I should try again to get the vehicle to start.  I tried, and this time it did.  As the traffic began to flow again, I found that the very next intersection was the street I had been seeking the entire drive.  I was one street away from my destination when I contemplated giving up.  I truly came so close to where I needed to be, yet, in my mind I was so far away that I was ready to give up.

                                                        

     The process of awaiting the release of my book, Stepping Stones To Success, was also a challenge.  While things had progressed nicely all along, near the end of the process there were delays upon delays.  I had signing events scheduled since May but as we approached May, then June, week after week, I had to cancel these events and wait.  It was literally out of my hands, so there was nothing physically that I could do to make things happen.  It took my steadfast faith that God is in charge and things materialize on His schedule, not mine.  Things finally did work out and I am happy to announce my book signing tour:  Click here for the schedule

     I am required to have the vision, take the actions to create it, keep the faith, and wait patiently for the Harvest.  God brings forth His fruit in His season.

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

THEY GROW UP

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     The figure stooped to wipe the baseboard and get the dirt out of its crevices.  This was not some figment of my imagination, but rather my son trying to clean the vestiges of previous semesters of students who had inhabited the room he was now renting in this house containing ten males.  Yet, he wanted his mom there to supervise how he should order his room.

     It amazed me to see this young man seeking, on his own, to clear soot from the window sill, remove the soot laden drapes, and vacuum the rug.  I was amazed because I had not gotten a glimpse of this behavior in my house.  He escaped many such tasks by spending the weekends of his youth at his father’s home.  I never got to see him climb up and replace new curtains on a rod.  Nor had I seen this young man voluntarily wash surfaces of bookcases and desktops like he was doing in this room.  I stood back and admired how he washed the inside drawers of the dresser without any prompting from me.

     He is an expert at cleaning a bathroom, for that was his job at home since he was about eight years old.  As he was cleaning his room, he actually said, “Mom, wait until next week.  I’m going in the bathroom and really do a job on it. Then I’m going to have these guys follow guidelines for how to maintain it.”  This child of mine even picked out new shower curtains and rings at Target earlier that day, saying, “This is my gift to the house.”  When we returned to the house I checked out the existing curtains in the bathroom.  Sure enough, “My son is honing a discerning eye,” I thought. Good for him!  As I suggested how he could remove the mold collecting over the bath tiles – semesters of neglect by students and a landlord, my son had us return to Target for a bucket, rubber gloves, and cleaning supplies.

     The thing is, as he was going around the baseboard, he mumbled, “This is the second time in two days that I’ve said I know how to do something because my mom prepared me for it since I was a child.  Remember when you had me crawling around the living room and dining room baseboard and up the staircase?” he said.  It suddenly dawned on him that many of the tasks I required of him did have a place and value.  He actually said to me, “Why don’t you write a book about parenting?”  I hit the jackpot!

     Somewhere along the way from childhood until senior year, they grow up, mothers

© Dr. Drayton-Craig, 2010

Mother and Son

QUIET IN THE MORNING

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     The day has begun with the alarm clock announcing the day’s start.  The coffee machine is making a favorite brew, and the TV is on with the daily morning hosts and their lineup of guests, weather, and news.  Then it is off to work with meetings, phone calls, emails, and assignments or tasks.  We start the cycle of running and multi-tasking once that alarm clock gives the signal until we put our heads on the pillow in the evening.

     In the early years of raising my son, we would rise and use quiet time to get centered, pray, read the Bible, and meditate.  I began that with him when he was five years old so that he did not leave the house scattered and unprotected, and that he learned to put God first in his Life.  After the quiet time, I would turn on the local radio station as we got ready for school and work.  Over time, I stopped turning on the radio (I never turned on the TV in the morning except for winter storm related reports and school closings). 

     For more than a decade I have started my day in quiet, with prayer time and quiet as I move about.  Quiet.  I use to rise an hour or one and a half hours before my son awakened just for my private quiet time.  Now, quiet time has become a necessary component of the start of my day, especially for the work that I do.  It is absolutely necessary that I align my day with God, and in the silence, I receive the material that I need to do my work, and I hear the actions, and tasks that are required of me to complete this work without hindrance so that I maximize my output.  In the past year, I have dedicated several hours each morning to this essential period of time.  If I don’t have it, I feel scattered and my output is lessened. 

     I attended a conference in Washington, DC this past weekend and it was interesting to hear several people mention that “multitasking” is not the way to go.  Rather, one speaker recommended that we have focused intention in our work day in the form of 90 minute segments.  In other words, he suggested that we do not do the following at the same time:  read emails while glancing at a document on the desk, while talking on the telephone, while eating lunch.  That is multi-tasking.  Instead, do each thing with focused intention…90 minutes segment after 90 minutes segment, all day.

     These are two suggestions to help make your day more meaningful, fruitful, and aligned with your purpose for being:  Practice quiet in the morning, with intentional focus during the day.

© Dr. Ethel Drayton-Craig, 2010